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In the Khutbah a couple of weeks ago the
brother talked about the importance of manners. He mentioned many
hadeeths stressing the excellence of having good manners, the very high
status they give in the sight of Allah to the one who possesses them and
how the one who possesses them reaches the level of the prophets and the
martyrs and how even some of the Prophets and martyrs will envy such
people. And this is not
surprising as the Prophet (pbuh) is authentically reported to have said
"Indeed I was sent in order to complete/perfect the righteous manners or
characteristics". In another narration the Prophet (pbuh) said "Indeed I
was sent to complete/perfect the noble manners/qualities".
So the Messenger (pbuh) has linked the
whole of his message to the perfection of peoples manners. The whole
deen, the religion of Islaam has been linked to the completion of
peoples manners.
And in another hadeeth the Prophet
(pbuh) said "The Deen is dealing with other people". Everyone of us
needs to interact with other people in order to get by. To survive from
day to day. Otherwise life would be very difficult.
So Allah and His Messenger, the Qur'aan
and the Sunnah, enjoin and call to everything which nurtures and brings
about the best characteristics, manners and qualities.
This so that peoples everyday living is
facilitated, made easy, enjoyable so that good feelings are made to
develop and toleration of each other increases. (48:29)
There is one characteristic which if it
exists within the Muslims then the society will have a support, a
backbone and so it will continue to exist and which if it is removed
then it will crumble, fall and hatred, envy, ill-feeling and dissension
(divisions) will arise.
This quality is BEING TOLERANT OF THE
FAULTS OF THE PEOPLE or TURNING AWAY FROM THEIR FAULTS.
To understand this quality so that we
can practically bring it about and gain some benefit from it we can look
at it from four aspects.
ONE: The first point is that there does
not exist on this earth any person who is complete and perfect in every
single respect and is free from defects. The Prophet (pbuh) said "Indeed
people are like camels, out of a hundred you will hardly find a
single one suitable to ride." So this is clear indication from the
Prophet (pbuh) that completeness is something very rare.
If we have a hundred people and tried
to select one of them for a particular task say leadership or giving a
religious verdict then we would hardly find any one who would perform it
in the most complete way.
The Prophet (pbuh) also said "Let not a
believing man hate a believing woman , if he dislikes one quality in her
then he will be pleased with another." So in this hadeeth is a very
important realisation. That there is no muslim who is completely wicked
and evil and there is no muslim who is perfect. In fact every one of us
has some good characteristics even if they are scarce and every one of
us has some bad or evil characteristics even if they only small in
number.
And a poet he said in a couple of
lines: "And who is that person with whose every single quality/inherent
characteristic you are pleased with?" (where is that person? can
you find one?) It is enough to make a man noble that his defects can be
counted/listed. (the fact that a persons shortcomings can actually be
listed shows his excellence)
You wish that he should be perfect
without any fault. (How many times do we say regarding our muslim
brother "Oh why is he like that? Can't he be like this? Why does'nt he
do it this way?)
* Anas bin Maalik (ra) said "I served
the Messenger of Allah for ten years and he never said to me 'uff'.
Whenever I did something he never said to me 'Why did you do that?', and
whenever I did not do anything he never said to me Why havent you done
that?'."
And does an incense stick give off a
scent/fragrance without any smoke. (That is even an incense stick,
although it gives off something good something which is pleasing that is
the fragrance, it also gives of smoke which is like a defect.)
So the first point every muslim should
teach himself is that no one is perfect and people: withiin them there
is some good and some evil.
The one who realises this will be the
most patient in his dealings with the people and the least worried and
annoyed.
Whoever meets his brother realising
this point and fully understanding it will be the most patient of people
in his dealings with others.
He will be the least harmed and worried
and annoyed. His heart will be firm and stable and calm.
The one who does not realise this point
he will be the most annoyed the most anxious and worried person. His
heart will always be moving here and there. He will always see peoples
faults and never see their good points and this will annoy him and he
will always be worried when he deals with other people.
So that is the first point.
The second and third point we will look
at together as they are related and they are:
TWO: How should a Muslim view himself.
i.e look at his own self and to see what he is worth.
THREE:How should a Muslim look at
others.
The best place to look for these two
points is the companions and the people of the past because they possess
an excellence which none other than them have.
The Prophet (pbuh) said: "The best
generation is my generation then those that follow them, then those that
follow them". So this is an indication from the Prophet (pbuh) that the
best people to turn to in order to see Eemaan and Islaam being practised
is the first three generations.
It is reported that Abdullah Ibn
Mas'ood said "If you knew what I know about myself then you would have
thrown dust over my face".
This is a sign of extreme sincerity to
himself and lack of pride and arrogance. It shows his acknowledgement of
his faults and shortcomings.
How many of us could admit such a thing
to even one to one of his friends let alone a group of them? Which one
of us would have enough courage and truthfulness to admit that?
One of our Salaf (Pious Predecessors)
Bikr bin Abdillaahi al-Muznee used to say "When you see one who is older
than you then hold him in respect and say: 'Indeed he has preceded/gone
ahead of me in Islaam and good deeds and when you see one who is younger
than you then hold him in respect and say to yourself: 'Indeed I have
preceded him/gone ahead of him in sins."
Isn't this beautiful advice.
Listen also very carefully to the
following:
Some of the salaf (the Muslims from the
first three generations) used to say: "One of you knows all his own
faults and mistakes and he still likes himself, prefers himself (over
others) yet he dislikes his Muslim brother on account of suspicion. So
where then is the 'Aql, (intellect, sanity)?"
That is each one of us knows his own
mistakes and faults along with all his sins and he still does not hate
himself for that. He still is satisfied with himself, likes himself and
prefers himself to others.
But when he sees someone making a mistake or what he thinks is a
mistake
because he doesnt know the intention of the person, he dislikes him, he
feels
in a bad way about him and all of this purely on suspicion and yet at
the same time he is aware of all his own faults and mistakes.
So whenever you look at another muslim then follow the advice that
was
mentioned before. Bring to mind your own faults and weaknesses and this
will
put you in your place. If we all do this it will make us humble and
merciful to other
muslims just as Allah has mentioned : "Muhammad is the Messenger of
Allah and
those who are with him are strong against the disbelievers and
compassionate
amongst each other" (48:29)
PART II
So we have mentioned three points:
Firstly : Realising that everybody is
not perfect. Secondly : How we should view ourselves. Thirdly : How we
should view other Muslims.
We should all individually view
ourselves as deficient and see others as being better than us. Because
we all know our own faults and weaknesses but we don't know all the
faults of others except out of suspicion and that is forbidden.
Therefore every Muslim should see himself as the essence of deficiency
and others as being much better than him.
But do we just stop there. ie we
realise these things in our minds and that is it. No we have to actively
try and to remove them and this is done by reminding ourselves of our
own faults and shortcomings or making each other realise our faults and
defects with sincere advice.
That is we desire nothing but reward
from Allah and that a defect in a Muslim is removed. Not that we put the
Muslim down and make ourselves look better.
So the FOURTH point is mutually helping
each other to remove from ourselves the bad characteristics and defects
we all have. by informing each other, with extreme sincerity and concern
for each other.
The Prophet (pbuh) said "The Deen is
sincerity". The Companions said "To whom?" so the Prophet (pbuh) replied
"To Allah, His Book, His Messenger to the leaders of the Muslims and the
general people."
So part of being sincere to other
Muslims is advising them with sincerity. Advising them with what will
benefit them and this includes informing them of their shortcomings so
that they can remove them.
There are two points to the fourth
part.
Firstly how do you tell people of their
weaknesses and Secondly how do you react to someone who informs you of
your faults.
It was said to a wise man : "Do you
like that a man should inform you of your faults?" He said "If a man
comes to me and scolds me/rebukes me ie. begins to criticise me for my
faults then no. And if he comes to me with sincere advice then yes."
So this is how advice is given out of
sincerity and this is how advice is accepted when it is sincere.
Imaam Shaafi'ee (rh) said in the form
poetry:
Give me your advice when I am alone
And do not advise me when I am in a group
Because advice, when it is given in front of the people is a type of
criticism/rebuke.
I am not pleased in hearing it
And if you differ from me and disobey what I have said
Then do not become saddened when you are not obeyed/followed.
So he is saying that advice should be
given in private not in public. In order to hide the faults of a Muslim
and not to publicise them and so that the person is more likely to
accept the advise.
The Prophet (pbuh) said "Whoever
conceals the fault of a Muslim Allah will conceal his fault on the day
of Judgement". So we give advice out of sincerity and not to criticise
and we giveit in private not in public.
Some of the salaf used to say, "May
Allah have mercy upon a man who guided us to our faults and
shortcomings".
Do you see this attitude?
May Allah have mercy upon a man who
guided us to our faults and shortcomings.
So the earliest muslims loved that
people should inform them of their faults so they can strive to remove
them and therefore become more complete and moreperfect and better in
the sight of Allah.
Umar (ra) stood on the pulpit in front
of all the people and declared: (Laa yal'lamu ur-rajulu minnee 'ayban
illaa 'aabahu) - If any man knows of a fault in me then let him point it
out/criticise it. So a man stood up and said: Yes O Ameerul Mu'mineen. I
see in you two faults... Yet in this day and age you cannot say a word
to anyone sincerelyexcept that he will take it personally and see it as
criticism. This is a big problemwhich all of us have and this is what
causes ill-feeling and hatred and envy, because we are too proud to
admit our own faults and weaknesses and to accept advise from others.
So whoever wants to get on with other
Muslims, then he should do the following,
Firstly: Look at his own weaknesses and
faults before he notices andlooks at those of others and to deal with
people always giving them a chance and makingexcuses for them.
Secondly: To accept with happiness and
joy, the advice of his Muslim brother, just as the earliest Muslims did
and thirdly: to offer his sincerest advice to his Muslim brother about
his faults in private, not in public to humiliate him.
So whoever wishes that Allah should
show mercy and forgiveness to him and that Allah should hide his faults
on the day of Judgement. Then let him put this into practice.
And whoever does not want Allah to
forgive him and show mercy to him and to conceal his fault on the Day of
Judgement (that Allah should forgive him) then let him continue to be
heard hearted and proud of himself, thinking he is better than others
and let him always look at the faults of other people and not to accept
advice from others. Allah will soon punish him with what he deserves.
O Allah guide us the best of manners to which none can guide except
you and
turn away from us the evil characteristics. None can turn them away
except
you. |