Haneefah is an American woman who converted to Islam two years ago. This is some of what she wrote about her experience of becoming a Muslim:

“My husband, Rashaad, began teaching me about Islam in the spring of 1997 and on November 1,1997,I became a Muslimah.

I will always be grateful to him for choosing to share the gift of truth with me! Most of all, I will always be indebted to Allah Who gave me the things I need to recognize and learn to apply Islam to my life and Who found me worthy of receiving this wonderful gift! Al-hamdulillah.”

The enthusiasm that Haneefah felt and exhibited in her behavior gradually “rubbed off” on two of her three children who were non-Muslims at the time of her conversion. After 1 year, these two children, Joshua, age 12, and Kayla, age 8, became Muslims as well. Josh and Kayla eventually came to be known as Arshad and Anisah within the Muslim community; a wonderful blessing for the family and the community. Unfortunately, the situation was not as easy with Haneefah’s oldest daughter Crystal, age 14. Haneefah attributes this to the fact that she has not been able to expose Crystal to Islam as much as the other children (Crystal lives with her father), and to Crystal’s strong commitment to Catholicism (she has attended Catholic school for several years). Haneefah always maintains an optimistic attitude and hopefulness that Crystal will one day share in the family’s Islamic beliefs.

As more and more people enter the folds of Islam, the issue of attempting to convert one’s children (and other family members) will become an increasingly common one. People of all ages convert to Islam and many have children of varied ages that they hope will become Muslim as well. As highlighted in Haneefah’s story, the task may be almost effortless or it could require a great deal of patience and wisdom. We spoke with Haneefah about her experience and the different strategies that she used with her children. We discuss some of these below with the goal of helping those who are in a similar situation. We hope that it makes the task somewhat less overwhelming.

1. Remember the Fitrah – It is interesting to note that the younger a child is, the more open he or she seems to be about the message of Islam. This is most likely due to the fitrah upon which Allah created all humans. Fitrah is the natural inclination to desire closeness to Allah and to submit to His will. A person’s experience and environment may work against this fitrah (which is why older children may be more challenging), but it is always present. Haneefah noted that Islam came “so natural to them” (Arshad and Anisah) and that Arshad, in particular, has a ‘hunger for it.” He enjoys learning more and can’t seem to get enough.

2. Teach as You Learn – Haneefah said that she did not begin to teach the children directly about Islam at first. She would talk about it often and share with them some of Islam’s beautiful truths, but did not really begin teaching until she had learned enough to feel comfortable.

   After this she would teach them new information as she learned it herself. This can be a very simple and effective strategy if children are willing to listen. Lessons may even be established one day a week so that knowledge is shared on a regular basis. The magnificence of Islam will shine through as its wisdom is absorbed.

3. Read Qur’an Often - Nothing can touch the hearts of men more than the beauty of the Qur’an. People have embraced Islam upon hearing its words alone. Of course, it is most beneficial to read in Arabic, the language of the Qur’an, but if one is unable, it is acceptable to read in any language. It would be wise, however, to also listen to tapes of the original Arabic so as to enjoy its true eloquence. Haneefah would read Qur’an to her children each night so that the truth of its message would become apparent.

4. Join the Community & Halaqas (study circles) – Haneefah stated that this is one area that she feels she could improve upon, and something that she views as being very important for maintaining a Muslim identity. She did take the children to a halaqa for some time, and her two children Arshad and Anisah still attend, but she would like to spend more time at the mosque and with other members of the community. She also hopes to send her children to the Islamic School in the future. Exposure to Muslim children is a wonderful way to bring children into the community and to help them to feel some type of connection. They can also learn form these children and get a sense of what Islam is all about in practical terms.

5. Make Du’aa – Haneefah feels that this probably the most important element and sometimes the only thing that can be done in certain circumstances. Sometimes it is best to leave it to Allah. Trust Him. He may just answer our duaa.

Once a child takes the Shahadah (The Testimony that there is no god but Allah and that Muhammad is His prophet) and become a Muslim, the job does not end there. Teaching and learning will continue and efforts will need to be made each day to incorporate Islam into daily life. Children may also be tested in this non-Muslim environment. Haneefah sees her children going through several tests. One is the challenge of being different from other children. At a time when acceptance and fitting in are so important, it is usually not advantageous to take on an identity so different from one’s peers. The children have no regrets or doubts about becoming Muslim, but Arshad, in particular, may deny that he is Muslim when talking to others. He does not want to make himself stand out from others in his schools. Most of his close friends know that he is Muslim, but do not really know what Islam is about. The children are often caught between two worlds: the one of Islam and the other of the old life that they knew so well.

Another test is the pressure from grandparents to return to Christianity. Haneefah says that they have “given up on Arshad”, but that there are still subtle attempts to influence Anisah. This includes such things as giving her Christian coloring books and asking her to come and decorate the tree. Anisah is aware of what they are doing and “feels like they are trying to get her back to being Christian.” Haneefah is not very concerned about their attempts since she knows that Anisah is strong in her faith.

As for Crystal, Haneefah says that she listens when she talks to her about Islam, and that she never says anything against it. Haneefah knows that it is “sinking in” and is there in her mind. Some of Crystal’s concerns include the self-discipline that Islam requires and the fact that it is opposite of the environment in which she lives. Haneefah feels that if Crystal were living with her may be she would be a Muslim. She continues to talk to her and she hopes that somewhere down the road she will remember; remember the message of truth.